Coached to focus on goals, values; Toronto Star. Toronto, Ont.: Mar 11, 2005. pg. C.05

An article written by my client Deborah Bilger

I would not be where I am today without my life coach Claire Coltsmann. When I first met her, she asked me what I would do if money were not an issue. I replied "Move to Santiago, Chile to fulfill my dream of becoming fluent in Spanish." I desperately wanted to leverage my 17 years of experience in the corporate information technology world working in project management, business and systems analysis. (I had been "downsized" twice.)

With her help, I established my values travel and adventure; learning; self-sufficiency and independence; freedom; taking action and moving forward; healthy living; nature and solitude; friendship, love and security; status and money. I listed "possible careers" and wrote out the pros and cons of each - defining what was really important in my life. I created this statement as if it were already true "My work is public-spirited, involving travel within the Hispanic community around the world."

I am in the habit of doing 15 or 20 things at once. Perfectionistic procrastinator - that's me. I would have 12 different books from the library on nine different subjects beside my bed as nightly entertainment. Claire helped me eliminate the clutter both physically and mentally. She would say, "Focus on your goals and your values."

Each week, she would hold me to each and every commitment. Since everything was created and prioritized by me, I felt good when she pushed me to complete things. I was driving and she was doing some serious navigating. She would ask some tough questions which caused me to think in different directions and of course, hold me to each commitment. All of our sessions were very hard on my head. Good but tough.

Here's an e-mail from me to Claire Wed, 25 Feb 2004

Hello Claire,
How are you? I hope all is well. I've returned from my trip to Guatemala. It was a really great decision to go - I had a FABULOUS time. My Spanish skills have improved exponentially and my level of happiness has increased enormously. I still have a perma-smile thinking about my five weeks there. In answer to your question What's the payback for taking a step forward and living the dream? Sheer happiness. In Guatemala I focused on living every moment, kinda pinching myself and saying Wow, my life is good. Nothing makes me feel more alive, smiling on the inside, as when I hear native speakers talking Spanish to me.

In March 2004, I talked about my dream to move to Santiago, Chile. She said Why don't you do it? Something really profound flipped the switch in my brain. From that moment on, I never wavered in my decision to sell everything and go - the car, the condo, the furnishings, everything! I signed up for a TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) course and taught English for five months in Toronto. Teaching English was a good way to get my foot in the door of prospective employers in the corporate environment in Santiago.

Coaching gave me permission to step back and focus on how to achieve my dream. Before coaching, I was just wishing for something to happen out of the blue. Wishing doesn't cut it, action does!

From March 2004 until I landed in my new homeland on January 28, 2005, I created the plan, executed it and am now living the dream. My friends Belen (in Santiago) and Evelyn (in Toronto) have helped me a lot. I just celebrated my first-month anniversary by indulging in a good bottle of Chilean wine with my new Chilean friends. I'm working on getting a resident visa, a telephone and a job. I'm very happy in Santiago. Saludos!

An article written by my client Chris Desforges and published in Tapestries Newsletter

Like many moms, I had acquired the habit of putting myself last and organizing my entire life around everyone else's needs. That wasmy standard excuse, but underneath was a much bigger truth: Part of mewanted to leave my ambitions packed away and cling to all my well-worn mother-based excuses My untested potential was very safe
and cozy. No risk required. And a mediocre existence can be perfectly acceptable when you believe you can excel any time youchoose. Much like needing to have a car in the driveway, all setto go, but never venturing anywhere.

But, at forty-one with almost-grown children, my untested potential nolonger felt safe or cozy, so behind the wheel I climbed. For the first time in a very long time, I made a commitment to pay myself first. I would spend real time on me before I exhausted my energies on everyone else. I got out my special notebook (a gift from my daughter
that I'd saved for something other than "to-do" lists), met with my life coach, Claire, and we began.

For the first time, I defined my personal values and goals. I did practical things, like claiming space in the house and painting it to my taste. I took personality tests and strength tests and learned how to use new insights to make better choices. I devoured the books and articles Claire recommended, and pursued my own research. I took a look at my inner life and purged my stock list of excuses. In the process, I became filled with new energy and became excited by the possibilities ahead.

The great thing about life coaching is that I got to pick the road - Claire was there to point out the scenery, and to let me know when we had careened into a ditch. She even encouraged me to explore avenues I hadn't even noticed. And, bless her, she ignored my standard avoidance techniques and made me see the signs I sometimes wanted to ignore. She asked lots of hard questions and made me accountable to myself. The process was emotionally challenging, and I often felt totally drained after our one-hour sessions over the telephone.

Life coaching did hurt my head, but it was well worth the pain. Because of her amazing insight and skill, Claire helped me unearth what has been inside of me all my life. In short, she helped me claim my dreams. She asked me enough questions to make me see that I have the courage to pursue them.

Because Claire took this trip with me, I can now navigate on my own into new territory. After ten hours of life coaching over five months, I am anything but stuck - I have direction, I have plans, and I am living smack dab in the centre of my own life. And, because I am genuinely busy with myself, I stopped focusing so much on everyone around me. And guess what? I am not less of a mom, partner, daughter, sister or employee. Ironically, I am better than ever.”

Other Testmonials

"Thank you Claire—you helped me get through some real tough times. You anchored me and kept me grounded; made me stop and enjoy the moment. You believed in me when I doubted myself and moved me to a place of incredible curiosity. I can only imagine where this work will take me and look forward to the experiences. I feel alive again!!"

Client, Toronto, Canada

"As my personal coach, Claire helped me become more aware of my strength and values. Through our sessions together I was able to make positive changes in my life, set realistic and achievable goals, and learn how to balance the demands of family and career. After speaking with Claire, I felt rejuvenated and energized, and more importantly inspired. I attribute much of my current happiness and success to our coaching relationship. She doesn’t provide answers but she is gifted in her ability to help you find the answers within yourself."

Client, Mississauga, Canada

"Thank you for a very exciting session. It felt wonderful to have a breakthrough and I spent all of last night, thinking, exploring options and getting excited about where this would take me. "

Client, Toronto, Canada

"I cannot stress how joyful I am to have broken away from my old work (pretty much) and to be open to something new. I know there is something out there waiting for me and I just have to find it."

Client, London, UK

"Yesterday was quite the session. I walked away from it feeling very uptight. I hope I didn't ruin too much of your day. Anyway...that was yesterday. When I returned home I did a lot of thinking. We both know that I'm close to working out this 'career' problem."

Client, Toronto, Canada